present day.

So here we are. I've gathered up the courage to post this to share with the world. I've let go of my insecurities, my anxieties over people knowing 'I have cancer', my guilt and my fear. Here we are. Now you know the story of my 30th year - so far. We've still got another 3 months in this chapter before we turn the page! Hang tight as the next month will include a cesarean section to deliver our beautiful baby, followed by a radical hysterectomy, followed by recovery from that major surgery - all while dealing with post partum struggles, a rambunctious toddler, a newborn - oh, and this PANDEMIC that will likely still be in place.

The one thing I ask at this time, please don't ask me how I'm feeling or how I am. While I understand it's asked with the best of intentions, the question is so beyond loaded. If you've stuck around long enough to read up to this point, you get an idea as to how I'm feeling. Every day is different, but also a bit of the same.

I recently read an article by Baltimore Orioles 1st baseman Trey Mancini (if you don't know, he was recently diagnosed with stage 3 colon cancer, at the age of 27!) and I felt everything he said so much. The most important takeaway - I'm so lucky. I know, that sounds weird right? But I am. I'm so lucky I chose to get my pap results tested. I'm so lucky I have caring doctors who act quickly. I'm so lucky this was caught early. I'm so lucky that I have the most incredible support system around me. I'm so lucky that I have Travis and Tyler (and Baby #2!) with me through all of this. I'm so lucky that I have options for treatment. I'm so lucky I've been able to find it within myself to share this with all of you - in hopes that it inspires someone in some way - and hopefully reminds women of all ages to get your regular pap tests done and advocate for yourself no matter what! I'm so lucky that I get this experience to help me look forward to the next 30+ years in a new light. With a new perspective on life and sense of mind. I'm so lucky I get to turn the page from Chapter 30 into 31 and let the years and an open, grateful mind guide me through them. I'm so lucky.

Let me/us know you're here for us. Support us if you can sense we're needing it. Don't be scared to talk to me. I'm generally happy to talk about everything related to what's been going on. I'm not afraid to talk about the specifics in regards to my diagnosis, treatment etc. Don't pity me. Send us love, prayers, positive thoughts - whatever your thing is. Oh, and send champagne (or Coors Original ;) ) or food if you must! We're gonna have a lot to celebrate soon friends and family! (and we'll all be as excited as Tyler is when he has cupcakes!)